


Lost and Found

by valda



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Huxloween, I hate Snoke with every fiber of my being fyi, M/M, Possession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-08 20:56:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12261933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valda/pseuds/valda
Summary: Kylo Ren destroys his former master, Supreme Leader Snoke--but when he does, something happens to his mind.





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Huxloween day 3, possession/exorcism. Also on Tumblr [here](http://cosleia.tumblr.com/post/166023726808/lost-and-found).

His chest was heaving, sweat-slick hair matted to his forehead, muscles trembling and jerking with fatigue and the aftermath of a rain of Force lightning, and as he stood, sucking in air, saber a sparking blade of plasma in his shaking hands, Snoke’s cleanly severed head landed at his feet.

Kylo watched Snoke’s body slump down in the throne, falling lifeless to the side, just as his Praetorian guards had fallen, all dead, many dismembered, bodies strewn across the throne room. His hands clutched at the hilt of his saber and he fought to fill his lungs. He scanned the room wildly, unsure if it was over.

The long moment stretched on, and nothing happened. All was still—deathly quiet. Kylo’s legs finally gave out and he dropped to his knees, then down to the ground completely, still brandishing his lightsaber.

He felt it then—or rather, didn’t feel it, because it was just…gone. Something in his head, some vital part of his mind had vanished, like Snoke had cut it cleanly out and taken it with him to hell.

Kylo swayed a bit, woozy. He closed his eyes and deactivated his blade. Then he felt for his comlink, gloved fingers scrabbling over the call toggle.

“Ren?” came Hux’s tight voice, controlled yet obviously concerned.

When Hux said nothing else, Kylo managed, “It’s done.” And then, “Come get me.”

~

That night he slept in Hux’s rooms for the first time. His wounds were more serious than they appeared; the majority were internal. The crew could not know how damaged he was, so Hux tended him alone. He would heal. It would simply take time.

He would heal. Or at least, the parts of him that weren’t his mind would.

“Snoke did something to me,” Kylo told Hux urgently, his voice a weak rasp. “Something to my head. I’m not—it’s wrong, now.”

Hux frowned and replied, “If he did, it’s not something our medical systems can detect. All I’m getting is that you’re exhausted and in need of a nutrient replenishment. Your brain looks perfectly healthy otherwise.”

“It’s not,” Kylo insisted. “Something’s missing. Something’s gone.”

“It could be trauma,” Hux ventured. “This…was a lot to ask of you.”

Kylo shook his head, and immediately regretted it. He closed his eyes against the sharp pain in his temples. “I’ll be all right,” he lied. Hux could do nothing for him; further discussion would be pointless.

“Get some rest,” Hux advised, smoothing his hair back from his face and kissing his forehead. “I’m here if you need me.”

So Kylo slept.

~

The dream that came to him that night was not a vision, exactly, but it didn’t feel like the work of his subconscious mind, either. Colors were bright, oversaturated, sharp, but everything was somehow blurred at the edges. Sound seemed to echo down a long hallway. But his mind felt whole. Right.

He saw his mother, standing over him as though he were lying down. He supposed he must be. Leia’s face was pinched with worry, as it often was, and it was young, younger than he remembered her. She looked the way she looked in history holos.

“How long?” asked a voice, and there was Luke Skywalker, coming to stand next to Leia, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He was young, too; his hair was blond and messy and he did not wear a beard.

“Since…since before he was born,” Leia said, staring down at Kylo. “Since the moment he was viable. I sensed the shift, I sensed when he became  _Ben_ , and then, immediately after that…” She shook her head, and Luke squeezed her shoulder. “I thought maybe I could do something, but I don’t know how, Luke. I’m scared of hurting Ben.”

“I sense it now, too,” Luke said softly. “I don’t know if I would have, if you hadn’t told me.”

“His name is Snoke,” Leia said. “At least, that’s the name he uses. He’s wealthy, but no one seems to know where his wealth came from. He operates out of the planet Cantonica, as far as my sources can tell. A city called Canto Bight, which he may or may not own outright.” Leia drew a long breath and let it back out. “He has no criminal record. The Republic can’t touch him. He hasn’t done anything he can be arrested for. And he’s too powerful to get to in…other ways.”

“Leia,” Luke said, in a gently chiding tone that was all too familiar.

“This is my son, Luke,” Leia said, turning her gaze away from Kylo for the first time and locking eyes with her brother. “I’m considering all options.” She crossed her arms. “Is there anything you can do?”

Luke’s blue eyes dropped to Kylo, a look of consternation on his face that Kylo knew well. “I don’t know,” he said. “I’d want to do some research first, look through Ben—Old Ben’s things, see if I can find reference to anything like this.”

“Do it,” Leia said. “Quickly. I don’t know how he’s doing it, and I don’t know how to stop him, but I am absolutely certain that the longer he’s in there, the worse it will be for Ben. It’s bad enough already.”

“I’ll get started right away,” Luke said.

“Oh, and Luke?” Leia added, reaching up to entwine her fingers with the hand he’d laid on her shoulder. She squeezed lightly, then said, “Don’t tell Han.”

“ _Leia_ ,” Luke chided her again.

“I mean it, Luke. Han can’t do anything about this. He’ll feel helpless. He’s already nervous enough as it is about being a father. I don’t want to—” Leia looked at the floor, frowning. “I don’t want to scare him away.” She raised her eyes to Luke again, gaze hard. “I’ll deal with this. We’ll deal with this. And then it’ll be over and Ben will be all right and there will have been no need to worry Han.”

“If that’s what you really want,” Luke said. “But Han can handle this. I promise. He wouldn’t run.” He gave Leia a sheepish grin. “Or, if he did, he’d come right back.”

Leia sighed. “I’ll think about it. But in the meantime…”

“I won’t say anything,” Luke assured her. He leaned in and kissed her temple. “Let me get started on that research.”

Luke stepped away, back to where Kylo could no longer see him. Leia turned as if watching him go. “Luke,” she said. “Thank you.” There was the sound of a door swishing open and then closed again, and Leia looked back down at Kylo. There was still worry in her face, but there was something else there too. “Darling,” she said. “Sweet, precious darling. I’ll protect you. Don’t worry. I won’t let him have you.”

Kylo saw himself—or rather, Ben Solo—raise a chubby hand and wave it at her. Leia’s face broke out in the most genuine smile Kylo had ever seen on it. “I love you,” she said fiercely, extending a finger for him to grab. “I love you, Ben.”

~

He awoke covered in sweat, sheets twisted around him and sticking to his skin. It was dark, and the bed next to him was empty, and his mind felt empty again too, not full and complete as it had felt in the dream. “Hux,” he called shakily. “Hux. Hux!”

The bedroom door slid open and Hux hurried in from his study. “What’s the matter?”

“I—I don’t know,” Kylo said, reaching for him. Hux held out a hand, and Kylo took it, grabbed it hard. “I don’t know,” Kylo whispered, because something that was supposed to be in his head wasn’t anymore, and something that wasn’t supposed to be there anymore was.


End file.
